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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Revisions for Corbally's essay


Kathy, Lhadze and Luis, here's the essay.

Kathryn Douglas, Lhadze B., Jesse Valdez, Luis Alba
21 September, 2010
Writing One, 6o
Mrs. Corbally
Pearls Before Swine
            “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6)
            The silence never sounded as loud when Paul held Abbey’s dead body in his hands. He stepped away from Abbey and held the bloody pen in his hand. All his memories of Abbey were playing in his head. Slowly, all of those memories became clear. He knelt beside Abbey, and closed his eyes.
 *                                 *                                         *
            His years of high school were the whole reason why he ended up killing Abbey. Paul and Abbey had been a great couple. Paul loved her; he would do anything for her. He remembered picking her up from her house in his truck and getting out of the car. Abbey came out of her house in her little red dress, nimbly walking over in her heels while putting on a delicate corsage. He was stunned at her amazing grace and beauty. He opened the truck door for her and headed to prom. Paul was nervous and the ride was quiet.
            As they entered the gym where prom was being held, he had a slight feeling someone else was looking for her. Paul and Abbey sat at a table with their friends from high school. They had fun with their friends, but as they left to dance, Abbey and Paul remained silent. As the night went on, Abbey acted strange. She kept glancing around as if she were looking for someone. She suddenly stood up, walked away and never looked back. Paul wondered where she was walking to, but it didn’t take him long to figure out. She was walking towards someone who just came in. As Abbey went over to him, Paul began to notice something strange: he had a pig tattoo on his biceps. Anger boiled inside Paul’s stomach. Abbey, with no sense of pity or regret, kissed the man with the pig tattoo. Paul jumped in his seat and stared at them. Fury exploded within him, but he didn’t want to make a scene. He got up and left, thinking about how Abbey could have just done that to him so easily.
            As Paul drove his truck in anger, his mind was still on Abbey and how he witnessed her cheating on him. He began to think cruel thoughts, all in which included revenge. The tattoo of the pig was on his mind since he had left the prom. He wanted to know who that man that he hated more than anyone else was. He began to swear at the top of his voice, all of them being about Abbey and the man that she was with. While driving, he spotted a pig, and the remaining amount of rage that was inside him was vented out. When he saw the pig, he thought Abbey and the other man and the everlasting pain that they had inflicted on him. Acting on impulse, Paul drove his truck as fast as he possible could, and he rammed into the pig. The truck shook and swerved. When it stooped, Paul left to see if the pig was dead, but when he found nothing, he realized that he had imagined it; the pig was merely a hallucination. He wondered why the car had shook if he did not hit the pig. He noticed a boulder a few feet away from where he was; that had been the cause of his crash. As he realized what had happened, he began to laugh. He was still laughing when he saw two bright lights coming closer and closer. In a matter of seconds, he heard a horn blare, and everything went black.
                                    *                                       *                                              *
            The next thing Paul knew, he was in a room with shiny white walls. He then noticed the numerous amounts of wires attached to him. It didn’t take him long to realize that he was in a hospital. He touched his face and felt his grown facial hair all over. His eyes felt tired and heavy. He looked towards the digital clock. He noticed something strange. The date was 3 years after prom. Everything in between that and now was all just a blank. He was about to gasp in shock, but pain all of sudden shot through his entire mouth. He looked in a mirror next to him and saw that something was clamping him jaw down so much that he couldn’t speak. He thought while in pain, I shouldn’t have tried to run over the pig. I shouldn’t have lost control like that. In half an hour, some surgeons came in to check and fix whatever was clamping down on his jaw. As they were fixing it, he felt jolts of pain that felt like needles being poked into his gums and being twisted. When they were done, one of the surgeons got a mirror and asked him what he thought. There were two thoughts that went through his mind: (1) He was astounded at his reflection; he had hideous scars all over him. His face was unrecognizable. (2) The voice that spoke to him was extremely familiar. Paul was frustrated that he couldn’t figure out whose voice that was.     
            When all the other surgeons left, the one whose voice sounded familiar stayed behind. She cleaned up the rest of the tools and put them on a cart so she could take them back. She took off her surgical mask and then someone else called her. Abbey. She said she would be right there after she put the equipment away. When she turned around to take the cart, Paul caught a glimpse of her face. That glimpse was all he need. Everything that happened after the prom came to him: Abbey cheating on him, driving away in anger, crashing into the boulder, and the most memorable flashback, the man with the pig tattoo. He must have looked like he had a fearful expression on his face, because Abbey told him, “Don’t worry, Sir. You’ll get those scars fixed in no time. Good-bye”.
As she left He saw the man that called that had the clear tattoo of a pig, and an engagement ring brighter than the sun than had engravings on it. Paul shook with fury on his bed when he noticed these two things. If he didn’t have the thing on his jaw, then the entire hospital would have heard his scream. They were the screams of revenge.
                        *                                          *                                               *
            Abbey came in and closed the door. He decided that if he wanted revenge, then there was only one thing he could do. Ignoring every pain in his body, he grabbed Abbey by her collar and took a pen out of her pocket. He looked at Abbey, and his brown eyes, full of rage and hatred, met Abbey’s grey eyes, full of shock and plea. Fighting the pain of his jaw, he said to her, “Abbey.” Paul grabbed her wrist and stabbed it with the pen, cutting it open. She opened her mouth in preparation for a scream, but Paul swiftly covered her mouth. “Be quiet”, he said in a murderous tone. He caressed her face and held the pen up to her neck as she slowly started to lose consciousness. He remembered that horrible heartbreaking day when she cheated on him and caused him to get in a crash. He wanted to make her suffer for what she did to him. The last time he saw her, she was looking at him, deviously giggling. She was different now. Ugly, he thought, that pig man made her ugly, the way she smiled at him, and she never smiled like that at me. She could very well be dead to me. I want her dead; if I can’t have her, neither can that pig man. He then said to Abbey the last words she would ever hear.
“Pearls before swine, Abbey.”
 He took a deep breath, and jammed the pen into Abbey’s soft neck. Her eyes flickered and she was no longer. His hands were soon soaked with Abbey’s crimson blood. He dropped her and wiped his hands on his hospital gown. Paul looked over her dead body on the floor, dropped the pen and limped to the door. It creaked as he opened it slowly. Once he was outside, he looked both ways down the hall and dashed. Running down the white halls, memories of the good times flashed back into his head and he snickered bitterly. He could see the security guards running towards him, they had heard the beginning of her desperate cry. Paul had not covered Abbey’s mouth quick enough. He realized that the guards had him in checkmate. He went with them quietly. He was not only going to prison, but he was going to Hell.

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